My View on September 4

Thank you (really)

The joy of having a mailing list with a few hundred recipients is that when I send out news, I get responses. Sometimes, a few hundred of them. That happened most recently when I sent out my “good news to share” missive explaining that I am cancer-free after my surgery.

The only problem is that responding individually takes time and I ran out of time before we left to take Ben to college last week. So while I’ve now resumed replying to emails (in the order received!), I’m only about halfway through the list at this point.

If you’re one of those whose kindness I’ve not net acknowledged in kind, please accept my apologies for not doing so yet, and know that I will do so soon! And also please know that I appreciate, beyond calculation every word of support and love I’ve received.

Reflecting

It’s been fascinating and heart-warming to engage with so many people in the middle of the year. I’m used to it at holiday time, this sharing of news and good cheer, but not in July-August. I’m actually having trouble keeping up with all the emails.

It’s been fascinating to HAVE to sit back and accept the flood of warm wishes and offers of meals and rides and logistical support. Usually I shy away from this kind of attention and feel undeserving and embarrassed. Those who know me well know I much prefer being backstage to being onstage. But Tom insisted that I let our friends BE our friends, and it’s been wonderful. Everyone seems genuinely happy to be of use, and just having dinners brought to us this past week has been more of a godsend than any of the donors will ever really know.

Having flower arrangements fill the house has not only added life and loveliness to the surroundings… but they are visual representations, not only of their senders, but of all the people who care and want good things for me. Every time I see a bouquet, I’m reminded of the fact that there are people to whom I matter. It’s incredibly gratifying.

I want to hold onto these feelings of mutual love and goodwill for as long as possible.

Good News

Watch Out, Usain Bolt

I walked two laps around Fashion Square today. Oh, all right, with a wee rest in between. But still.

Home

We arrived home from the hospital a bit ago. Surgery went as well as could be expected. They didn’t have to take my aortic lymph nodes, and the flash freeze of my now-departed pelvic lymph nodes showed no cancer. The full pathology report will come back next week, but we have every reason to be optimistic that they got it early and got it all.

For now I’m sore and swollen and alternating between resting and walking (although I’m not allowed any more strenuous activity than that for a few weeks). But I’m kind of amazed that you can have a hysterectomy and be home 30 hours later, and I’m very glad that I get to spend tonight in my own bed.

More news as we have it.

Waiting

We arrived at the hospital at 5:30am as instructed, and are currently in the surgery waiting room. They won’t take me to be prepped until about 6am. I’m finaly feeling a bit nervous – not so much for the surgey itself, bit for what comes immediately after. My stomach is rumbling, an astounding feat considering Ive had no solid food since dinner on Saturday.

Ben and Tom are with me. Tom is on his iPod Touch; I’m tapping this out on the WordPress app on my iPhone; Ben is doing email on his laptop. The family that surfs together…

Hope to be back online in 8 hours or so.

12 hours, my ass

With apologies for the scatological pun…

As a requirement of my surgery, my intestines must be empty. This involves a liquid diet for today and tomorrow. And just to be sure, two 10-ounce bottles of Magensium Citrate. Dr. Friedman suggested that I take the first bottle at bedtime on Saturday night, “as it takes about 12 hours to begin working, and that way you’ll get most of the bowel-cleansing part out of the way late morning.”

We were out late last night, so I took the first bottle of “lemon flavor” wonder juice at about 1am.

I awakened at about 6am, with my intestines gurgling and heaving mightily, and off I took myself to the bathroom, the first of many trips over the next few hours.

Am currently downing the second of the two bottles, which I can hardly believe is necessary at this point.

It may be just me, or I may have to left Dr. F. know to modify his timelines for future patients.

Oy.

Post Pre-Op

Had my pre-op with Dr. Friedman yesterday.

Naturally, my first question was whether I could  bring my laptop/iPhone to the hospital with me. (Yes – as long as Tom is watching it while I’m in surgery/recovery.)

He and a nurse-practitioner examined me. He seemed cheerful and optimistic about the surgery. He remains confident that he’ll be able to do the whole procedure via laparascopy. I hope he will, too, for a number of reasons:

1. Much quicker recovery time (1 night in hospital v. 3 or 4).
2. It means they didn’t find anything so dire that they had to open me up.
3. I’ll be able to join Tom in taking Ben to college the first weekend in August. (If he has to go with a laparotomy, or traditional incision, it will be too soon for me to fly.)

On the other hand, waking up with an incision won’t necessarily be all bad news; it could simply mean that he (sorry to be graphic here, but you ARE reading a blog about there being cancer in my uterus) couldn’t fit everything out through the vagina.

In either case, we won’t really know too much about my staging until the pathology is back post-surgery. And that could take anywhere from two days to two weeks, depending on how fast the pathologist can read the results.

The bottom line, from his point of view: because I wasn’t presenting with traditional symptoms of uterine cancer (abnormal menstrual bleeding, or bleeding between periods), the likelihood is that things have been caught quite early and may well be contained to the uterus. That and $4 will get me a latte, of course, but I’m happy that he’s happy.

Tom will send out an email update once I’m out of surgery, and if I remember to install the WordPress app on my iPhone, I’ll try to update the blog once I’m out of recovery.

Hopeful news

I don’t see the oncologist until Thursday morning (9th), but my GP called to let me know that the report on my CT scan is that it shows “no evidence of metastatic disease.” That would seem to indicate, pending confirmation from the oncologist, that a hysterectomy may do the trick on its own. So we’re being cautiously optimistic that my impending surgery will be all that’s required. Fingers crossed.